Today I've decided to not go to work. I can't be bothered, so I slept in for about 6 hours. Since my life at the moment basically consists of work, food, blog, sleep in that order, I think today I'm going to eat things in my boxers in front of the laptop and occasionally fall asleep.
The reason for this kind of routine is basically because there is just not much to do here. There's a cinema, but I don't feel like watching badly dubbed Western film or below par Russian cinema (with a few notable exceptions like Day/Night Watch). There's other stuff I'm sure- like mullet care and growth classes or something, but that's not really my style... yet.
pictured: my sexy, sexy culture
The other reason for not wanting to go out is the weather. It is boiling at the moment, with the sun roasting the ground to at least 30C every day. When I was in Moscow it was 42C.
The result of this is that I have experienced what life must be like as a fat person- except I don't see everyone as massive walking bits of food, my self esteem is ok and I don't breathe in a funny way. However, I do feel constantly tired if I do some physical activity and I break into a sweat over the smallest tasks- like walking.
On these overly sweaty walks I have noticed some things about the city I'm at. They're not particularly amazing observations, but they amuse me a bit. First of all, a lot of men here have mullets. Proper ugly looking redneck shit (see above picture) that just looks amusing. What's most surprising is that these ridiculous looking creatures actually manage to pull really hot women. Loads of horrible looking guys with any combination of mullet, beer gut and bloated face manage to completely over-chick and get ridiculously hot girls. The only explanation I see as feasible is that the length of their mullet either corresponds to the length of their cocks, or their beer gut is an indication of how much money they earn.
There are good sides to these potential gold diggers though. The women here seem to have a certain joie de vivre and always take care of how they look ridiculously well. They're always done up really nicely and you can tell they make an effort every time they go out. The other bonus is that a lot of them seem to have got their fashion sense from pornos- so the trend is usually small, tight fitting clothes and high heels with almost everything and in any situation. It's nice to just walk around with all the girls looking so nice and tarted up, even if I'm not interested in them. It makes the town seem nicer.
The best thing for me is that, as a result of how goonish the guys look, I feel like I am totally immune to ridicule out here. The other day I was with an Essex boy that I work with. We were standing there, chatting when a guy who was walking past us said 'oh you are from England? How do you find Russia? Jolly good?' in his best possible imitation of an English accent (which to be fair was quite good and conjured an image of the symbolic Russian bear sipping a cup of tea and wearing a top hat). As we considered smashing him in the face, we both looked at him and burst out laughing. In front of us was a weedy guy with squinty eyes, hidden behind wiry glasses. His mullet reached down to his shoulders, and his trousers up to his bellybutton. He was clearly a master of ridicule- both of other people and himself, truly someone who was dedicated to their cause. He looked like he spent a lot of time being really tough on internet forums, and wasn't someone you'd want to fuck with if he was behind a keyboard. So we left it at that, thinking that it's true that a picture can say a thousand words.
It's great because I can dress however I like, behave however I like and still feel like I am totally immune to their judgements. I could drag my toilet out into the middle of town and sit on it taking a dump. As I sit on my porcelain throne I would laugh at the goons with their mullets and attempts at pimping out Lada cars. 
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