've been playing chess with my grandad a lot since I've been out here, and I got to realising that chess is actually a pretty good life lesson- namely in that it isn't always good to be impulsive. If you don't think about what you're doing in a game of chess, and just move however you feel, you will get raped harder than a schoolboy in a dark Catholic church. This might not seem a big deal for people who think things through, but when you constantly do the equivalent of breaking something and then hiding in the cupboard until it fixes itself it's actually pretty useful. To be good at chess you have to think several moves ahead, and the same seems to go for being a responsible and mature human being. My old Philosophy teacher once said that I'm missing the part of my brain that answers for delayed gratification- namely working hard on something to get a result in the long run. Possessing no foresight is great when you get a good surprise... but not so good in a lot of other cases. Having come to the realisation that I'm not just shortsighted in the physical sense, I'm going to treat everything like a game of chess and stop trying to stumble through situations on the momentum of my words and actions.
For example, I know this blog entry is gonna have a lot of you going ' |______| <<< care-box empty plz', but really it was written for a specific person... so my carebox isn't too full either. Yea that's right, beef.
In other news I've had one cigarette since I've been out here, and I'm chewing my fucking face off. I've gone through two packets of gum per day. Everyone here smokes, including my grandad, uncle and just about every mullet sporting, string vest wearing bastard on the streets. I've managed to sneak one fag since I've been here, and even that I had to smoke leaning out of my window looking like I was about to jump. It's not even that I don't want them to know... my parents know I do, and my nan seems to not care at all that she found a packet in my coat. It's just the preachy 'you shouldn't! it's bad for you!' and frowns every time I have one that I don't want to be dealing with... not really worth it.
Anyways sorry this was a pretty self indulgent entry, it's just how I distract you from the fact that I've done nothing interesting. All I've done out here is sleep, eat, read and try to correct my ridiculous t-shirt tan lines from Kiev. I'll do something cool soon, I promise.
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